navigating change: fall in manhattan

a reflection & advice on coping with a new life in a new place

i’ll begin with my to-do list when i’m feeling overwhelmed:

1. sit in a park, preferably right before sunset, when the sky is still illuminated. turn your headphones off. put your phone down. don’t move from that position.

   • you’ll be forced to plunge back into your screens soon enough; take a break

2. observe the mothers and children, the businessmen, and the dogs tilling around you.

   • this invalidates the ever-tempting grasp of solipsism.

3. listen.

4. breathe.

5. write a bulleted list of the things you love today.

6. watch as the sun fades, the lights turn on, and the buildings illuminate the streets.

   • watching the sun set behind the trees will remind you that the world moves on with or without you.

7. thank yourself for being who you are, where you are.

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let a miniature schnauzer sniff your feet. let a child exchange a smile with you. let the cold permeate your cardigan. hear the dogs bark. listen to the piano. it is a pleasure to bear witness and a privilege to feel.

the most important concept that i have learned during my time in new york is that the good moves all around you. the people file by, the dogs yap, the birds sing, and if you sit in one spot long enough, something great is bound to happen. if not great, at least something beautiful.

new york city is a wonderful place, filled with exquisite souls, stunning architecture, and some of the brightest minds in the country. new york also plainly sucks.

the good is abundant, and the bad is… well, equally bountiful.

everything moves incomprehensibly fast. it smells. you will likely experience a plethora of body fluids — some that you couldn’t even imagine — from firsthand sensory experience. a bird (or a man) might shit on you. you may accidentally sit in a puddle of piss on the subway ride to an important conference. you’ll be yelled at, maybe spat at, sometimes followed.

but, for all of the negative, the positive always returns tenfold. you have to allow for that to happen.

the point is, if you sit alone, grounded, the overwhelming atrocity that is new york city becomes minutely digestible, at least for the moment. understanding that is so radically important for your well-being.

good things come, they encompass you; to practice patience and presence allows the world to move around you. this allows for the good to approach you and envelop you. to watch the leaves change, to observe the sun setting, to take a break, to sit in a park, to tune into your breathing, is an immense privilege.